i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
