I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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