My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
should my penis look like a turkey
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
