dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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