just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
