And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
