By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
