his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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