Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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