i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Drunk is a universal language darling
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
