and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize