So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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