North Korea, Best Korea!
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
