he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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