Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
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I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
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Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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