Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
