pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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