you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize