Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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