I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
