For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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