Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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