Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
