your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
