he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
