apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
