she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize