I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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