I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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