sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
