I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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