just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize