Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
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I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
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Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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