I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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