Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Panties = found
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
