you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
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