well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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