if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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