did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
