I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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