Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i think i have two assholes
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
