What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
