do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
