This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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