Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize