was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
