Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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