I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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