Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
