I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize