They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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