ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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