Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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