what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
