.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
