i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
